Home
Where is it?
I am home for the week. Being around people has brought back to a life I used to know. My home address has been written and rewritten a few times since 2019. At first, the experience was a source of sadness for me. I am grateful for my wife for keeping me company and taking care of me. At the same time, I was rethinking what home actually is and what it can look like. In the last few days, I have been trying to set up the next stage in my life. My home address is being rewritten again. Is it time to rethink home?
Home is a foundational place in our lives. Ideally it is somewhere filled with good memories. You may not feel that way and cannot wait to move out. You may be the person who will move and never look back. I hope home looks beautiful for you when you make it your own.
For much of my life, I believed home is where you are from. I am a child of South Paterson. I always wanted to go back. Growing up, we all represented our street or neighborhood, which was advantageous sometimes. Naturally, I carry this with me everywhere I go. When my fellow white people find out I am Muslim, a quick question is what country I am from. Sometimes New Jersey is its own country. Yeah. New Jersey is still home. It has influenced how I understand what home is.
While a Zaytuna College student, I struggled with not being home. I remember arguing with some classmates about taking Berkeley as my home. I found time with Imam Zaid Shakir to talk about home. Allah brought him around the world. If someone would know about home, it would be him. “Where is home for you?” Imam Zaid asked. “Jersey.” I replied. “That is that.”. Imam Zaid explained that to him, even though you may live here, home is where it is for you. I was so happy.
A few years later, marriage became more realistic than ever. Home would definitely be something different. Sure, I may believe in my heart that Jersey will always be my address. But being married would bring me into a new stage in life: home builder. Home became the place where I lay my head. It became the place where I created memories even though the physical building changed. Home became even more abstract. After six years, we are leaving our third place of residence.
Home is changing again. But I am getting closer to buying a house. A day before writing this, I became emotional in thinking about home. I may never have my childhood neighborhood be my address ever again. But sitting down to type this piece, I thought, who says I cannot have two homes, South Paterson and wherever my family and I settle down to create our own home? Since people have always disagreed on where home could be, I am making my own and here it is. A part of me will always be in South Paterson. At the same time, I cannot wait to see where I root next.